Random Things No One Tells You

I was out to happy hour last week with a friend and I randomly commented that everyone knows about the freshman 15, but no one mentions the 35/10.  You know, the 10 pounds that randomly hangs on your thighs and hips with a grip that gives Wonder Woman a run for her money.  And she laughed because she’s 28 and still living the endless carb intake dream.  And she said, you should write a blog about those random facts!  So I thought over the next few days a few thoughts and here is what I’ve come up with that no one tells you, but I know to be true:

  • As mentioned above, you will gain random weight between the years of 34-37 and you will have no idea how it got there.  One look at a cookie and your pant size goes up.  And you end up wearing stretchy – everything.
  • The simplest moments are the most joyful.  Not the ones we plan and post to brag to everyone in our social network about.
  • Marriage is hard.  I annoy myself sometimes, I can’t imagine what my husband has to deal with.  You either learn to be wrong, or get really good at manipulation.
  • There’s always that holy-roller who’s just nasty.  Bless her heart.
  • No one tells you how cute your kids can be when they really want something.  The best sales people in the world are toddlers.
  • Work as efficient as you can.  Don’t become a slave to your lifestyle.
  • Through Him all things are possible – but not without coffee first.
  • Sunlight is underrated.  (Its March in Minnesota right now and I’m about to paint every room rainbow colors.)
  • Turns out you can’t coast through life at 35 – you have to keep learning and risking.
  • People don’t want to be educated on social media – they want to be entertained.  So stop with the political and negative stuff.  Actually, go through your account right now and scroll through how you are portraying yourself.  I often wonder if people realize how negative and depressing they are being.
  • People who give the most (time, talent, treasure) are the happiest.  On that note, mom and dad, give me all your money.
  • Other people’s problems with you are actually about them.
  • Don’t register for wedding china.  Your parents have all the heirlooms you need and you can’t use yours until the kids are out of the house.  White dish sets, all day, every day.
  • You have the most irrational thoughts as a parent.  Like, I plan the escape route when someone breaks into our house – complete with how we will climb off the roof.  Because our two 10 year old 42″ tvs are so in demand.
  • You never know what’s going on in someone else’s marriage, so don’t judge.  Even when their relationship seems weird AF.
  • Stop asking stupid questions on Facebook like, “where is a good date night restaurant” or “What’s this rash on my child?”  Google, people.  Google.  And professionals in the medical field.
  • Don’t change yourself to fit in to any group.  Be yourself and your tribe will find you.
  • Hair.  Okay, so random gray ones show up on your head; everyone knows that.  No one tells you about the little garden that grows on your chin.  Left side, strong side.  My tweezers are the most used tool in my house.
  • We all take our turns being on top and the bottom.  (Not talking about sexual positions, but that’s true too.)  Be gracious on top, and know that your turn on the bottom won’t last forever either.

3 thoughts on “Random Things No One Tells You

  1. Hey you have an amazing blog .
    “People don’t want to be educated on social media – they want to be entertained. ”
    “Other people’s problems with you are actually about them.”
    Great points to think about really . Loved reading your blog
    Do follow https://saishabloomdotcom.wordpress.com
    She writes beautiful poems blogs about nature and philosophy and human emotions. Do read her blog and support her by following .🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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